Have you ever hit a point when you realized that a bunch of things you used to find really fun are just not that much fun for you anymore? What did you do about it?
I hit that point this summer. Hit the point of realizing that a pile of things that used to be fun for me — things I gave a lot of time and love and energy to in the past — just aren’t that much fun anymore. I felt it in my bones. And it really freaked me out. After all, if I give up a lot of things that I used to find fun, what is left of me? Who am I now? Will I stop being fun? What will I do for fun now? How will I live now? And will my friends come with me?
Lori The Researcher showed up, as she tends to do when Go-With-the-Flow Lori’s head starts to ache with overload. Lori The Researcher looked back into this very blog and compared the summer of 2012 with the summer of 2013.
Lori The Researcher (depicted by Bas de Baar)
She confirmed that yes, in fact, what I find fun has shifted (Researcher People, see the two remarkably concise, for me, tables below).
But I found something else too. Something completely unexpected.
I found a person who has evolved beyond fun and not fun polarities. I found a person who can, and often does, choose “Both” and “All of the above.”
I can now find the fun within the not fun. Most days.
I can find fun within almost anything that comes my way. Eventually, if not immediately.
Have you ever played the game with friends or family and brainstormed which superpowers you’d most like to have? Flying, x-ray vision, invisibility?
For me, finding the fun in almost anything, most days, is the superpower I would choose.
And, according to the data, says Lori The Researcher, I now have it.
This is big.
This means that I can stop worrying about letting go of my “no longer fun for me” things.
I can try the new. I can fail. Flail even.
Because even if I flail with no grace whatsoever, I can still laugh my ass off about it eventually, which is no small thing (the laughing, or my ass, your choice grammarians).
I will find the fun, even in the not fun.
I will find the fun as Go-With-The-Flow Lori, and as The Researcher Lori, and as any other Lori’s that are needed.
Oh, these real superpowers are going to be so much fun.
Me and my friend Sayumi, Wonder Women style
Summer of 2012 Lori experiences from this blog
|
This is fun! |
This is not fun! |
| Writing | Worrying |
|
Reflecting on giant questions asked by other people (for example, How do we trust each other without proof? How do we measure our freedom not using money? And how do we create reflective communities where none seem to exist?) |
Feeling off balance |
| Reflecting on our coworking space to answer giant questions | Oral surgery |
| Creating and defining new words | Not hearing from my mom after the release of our new book due to her Alzheimer’s disease |
| Giving long-winded advice | Gun violence in our neighborhood |
| Welcoming newcomers into our space | Marketing |
| Documenting self-organizing groups in action | Talking about my own work at all (Always experienced as selling myself. Bleh.) |
| Improving and maintaining our home, yard, and garden |
Summer of 2013 Lori experiences from this blog
| Fun | Not fun | Both fun & not fun |
| Writing | ||
| Spending unexpected time with family and finding new community among my extended family | The death of a grandparent |
X |
| Reflecting on my own questions (for example, how do I know I’m doing the right work? What is fun and not fun for me now?) | Work that stresses me out (involving over-busy-ness, deadlines, goals, and event planning) and work I feel I’ve just done to death (improving and maintaining our large home, yard, and garden). |
X |
| Talking about my own work | The word “marketing” |
X |
| Asking for help | Asking for help |
X |
| Following my own energy and stepping outside of my comfort zone | Stepping outside my own comfort zone, at first, as a result of following my own energy |
X |
| Getting lost | Getting lost |
X |
| Listening to and sharing the stories of people I love | ||
| Noticing and mentioning the quiet, hidden courage in others | ||
| Listening a lot and giving no more than 1 sentence of advice | ||
| Living as a writer | Living as a writer |
X |
| Finding writer friends and colleagues | ||
| Hanging out with friends, family, neighbors, and pets | ||
| Self-publishing | Self-publishing |
X |
Lori, what great thoughts! They say if you don’t find time make it. Your post says that if you don’t find fun in what you do then make it. Great thoughts because without feelings of fun one’s actions shall be limited in space, time and value.
Simply, this is one of your most admirable posts. I feel I have lots of fun as I am writing this comment.
Is that funny?
Ali, without fail you always make me think, and smile. Thanks for the comment. Will you email me your address? I owe you a hardcopy of our book. Amazon.com might not deliver to Jordan, but the postal service will. 🙂
Thanks, Lori. I am flying and shall try to get a copy while abroad. If not, I shall then depend on your kindness. Many thanks and have a nice weekend.